Problems with dating a widower
Having only the best intentions, George’s parents took me on a three week cruise of the Baltics four months after he died.I sleepwalked through much of it, too tired to enjoy the fast-paced sightseeing and being out of my comfort zone.Try some long days out with friends before attempting any lengthy or faraway dates.So, what helped you to decide whether or not you were ready to date again after being widowed? And if you’re not ready, how will you know when you are?I severely underestimated the toll of having been George’s caregiver.I needed to spend what energies I did have taking care of myself.
I tried dating a nice Jewish yogi lawyer (just like me) four months after losing George. Everything we did reminded me of something George and I had done or eaten or seen or hadn’t had the chance to do because his life had been cut short. I also had a lot of guilt over having been George’s caregiver.I rushed into dating far too quickly after my husband George died.I tried dating a couple of guys only a few months after his death. ” Haven’t we all heard this from well-intentioned people who are uncomfortable because we’re alone.But I was still too wounded and vulnerable, making me needy.If my date cancelled or wasn’t available, I was plunged into despair.
Let’s try some introspection before we start dating. It’s hard for me to admit I was using dating to prove I was still wantable.