How to stop dating someone
The ups and downs were enough to keep me hooked, as I allowed my feelings about myself to be dictated by the opinions of people I barely knew. Somewhere along the way, I had let my ego get completely tied up in these experiences.
I had fallen into the trap of letting my opinions of my failed relationships shape my opinion of myself. While it was often an uncomfortable, awkward, painful, struggle, eventually I was ecstatic when I found a few that seemed to fit.
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.
If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be.
Does someone accidentally fall on you in the grocery store?
In the two-and-a-half hours I leave the house each week, is he going to trip on me at Starbucks while I’m nervously palming my skinny hazelnut latte and completely avoiding eye contact?
The best part about it was that even though I was still excited about a great date, there was not longer the subtle hint of desperation in my interactions.
It helped me to repeat, “I am whole, I am love” before and after dates, to get the idea across strongly that the outcome of this one event was not a determinate of my lovability or worth.
When you strongly view yourself as a whole person who is looking for someone to share your life with, it takes away some of the fear that they won’t like you, that your destiny is hanging on this outing, and that if they don’t approve of you, you are back to square one.
So many people carry around the same negative thoughts about their desirability.
So they often parrot off clichés like “you’ll meet the right one when you least expect it” and “you’ll find him when you aren’t looking.” When you’re on this emotional roller coaster, these well meaning statements are enough to make you want to cold clock someone in the face.
How exactly do you even meet anyone if you aren’t looking?