Dating book for black women who want to
It serves no purpose but to isolate us and tear apart bonds of mutual trust and understanding for the mere possibility of being with a man.
Men are a topic of conversation, an object of desire, and also the greatest stumbling block on this campus for black women.
The idea that if one is not “cuffed" then one lacks value, or that people in relationships inherently have more value than single people, is an idea held by a large number of people on this campus, specifically black girls on this campus, either consciously or unconsciously.
This system of value is all empty and leads nowhere, because placing someone’s individual value in a place outside of their control or influence is completely useless.
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The majority of gossip, backstabbing, or fighting that I see happens over men who have managed to instill in two women some sense of infatuation.
So while black men generally have no problem dating people of any race, no one tends to date black women because of how society presents us.
I want to close the imaginary Black Girl Burn Book forever and have true solidarity with the women who I see home within, but one person alone does not make a community.
It will take all of us leaving this behind to make a difference.
The observation that it is a useless system is not even addressing how issues such as colorism, racism, classism, transphobia, queerphobia, and ableism affect the ways in which social capital can be won.
Of course, petty nonsense and jealousy also cause infighting within the black girl community, whether that’s saying “she has this” or “she has that.” Issues at the root of the nonsense are things like, “she has a boyfriend she doesn’t deserve, therefore I don’t like her,” as if relationships are based on deserving someone.
That fight for attention is nonsensical because it upholds the system that devalues us as romantic partners, gives too much value to the people who date us, and causes us to cut friendships and other relationships that sustained us before romance. Race aside, no one’s only close friend or only source of support should be their significant other.