Dating a good guy
The shallow man advises that on the day of the date, that you put your TV on Nederland een, between 7 and 9 and watch Vandaag de Dag.
Look at how poorly dressed the presenters of this show are and simply copy them. Your date will love you and not fear for the money in his wallet.
Therefore, at considerable risk to my bespoke tailored three-piece suit wearing self, I have put together a list of deadly mistakes to avoid when dating Dutch men.
My advice will no doubt upset some, and if I am captured by a posse of angry Dutch men with lion king hairstyles and am forced to sit through hours of music from Tiesto, Fedde La Grand and Armin van Buuren, I’ll look into the eyes of my enemies and shout, sodemieter op, jullie domme kakkers! Dutch men, are probably the luckiest of their species on planet earth.
Because of this, expat women, often end up making the following deadly mistakes when dating a Dutch man. In many countries, it’s quite normal during the course of a date to flirt with each other.
Dutch men, used as they are to having antelope served to them on a denim covered plate, have missed out on this vital part of human relations during their development to adulthood.
I say this simply because, Dutch women, in spite of often dressing as if the Netherlands has a permanent power outage, and they can only choose what to wear in the dark, are amongst the most beautiful women that you’ll see anywhere in the world.
That in itself would be reason enough for every Dutch male to get down on their hands and knees and thank God, Buddha or Allah that they are lucky enough to be born here, but they have an even better reason to be blissfully happy.
The Shallow Man is risking a storm of abuse by bringing this up again, but, I’ve been told repeatedly by expat women, even as recently as yesterday (thank you Vittoria) that Dutch men are tighter than a virgin female flea.
The previously charming Dutchmen then breaks out into a cold sweat and looks at the bill, at you, at the bill, then at you again, and there is a silence so deep that you can hear the female mice in the cafe coughing. Do not under any circumstances expect him to pay your part of the bill.
This is indeed a deadly mistake, if you are hoping to see your Dutch lion again, be a good antelope and suggest quickly that you’ll split the bill.
The Dutch female is often not particularly interested or fazed by the fact that their target could be married, in a relationship or even as the Shallow Man has witnessed with his own eyes, have their girlfriend present.
The Dutch ladies are relentless once they have set their sights on a target.
Several disappointed, international antelope, have asked me where they went wrong in their pursuit of the Dutch Lion.